Morning came, and I was still in the hospital.

Lucas was curled on the couch in the room. It didn’t look comfortable at all — but he made it work.

A nurse came in with meals for both of us.

“Hey, I’m bringing you guys breakfast. Sausage, eggs, and grits. Orange juice on the side,” she said cheerfully.

“Thank you. I’ll wake him,” I replied.

I got out of the hospital bed and gently shook Lucas’s shoulder.

“Hey… wake up.”

Lucas blinked awake, then smiled when he saw me.

“Noah. How are you? Are you feeling better?”

“Well… they haven’t brought the tox screen results back yet, so they haven’t given me anything to stop the shaking. Or the racing thoughts.”

Lucas sat up straight, suddenly alert.

“You were feeling like that the whole time at my apartment?”

“And pains, too,” I admitted.

His jaw tightened. “We need to tell them about your wrist.”

“What if they… try to lock me away?”

“Then it would be temporary. I didn’t bring it up yesterday, but… I need you to do it. Please.”

I didn’t want to.

I really didn’t want to.

“I’m scared, Lucas.”

“That’s why I’m here,” he said gently. “You’ve got me.”

When the nurse returned, I confessed about the self-harm.

They did the “Are you thinking about ending it all?” assessment and everything.

I told them I didn’t want to die.

I was just trying to control something — anything — in the moment.

Later, the doctor came back to discuss my tox screen.

He said what they found in my blood wasn’t any kind of known street drug. It was a combination — like someone was trying to create their own. A rare case.

They’d only seen two other patients with similar substances in their system.

I wondered who the other two were.

They cleared me to go after the psych evaluation and referred me to a therapist.

I needed something to help with my anxiety and substance…

Is it abuse?

No.

Dependency.

Lucas drove me back to his apartment and made dinner.

Honestly… it was kind of cute seeing him cook. He didn’t look like someone who’d know how.

After dinner, I spent some time reading one of my neglected novels.

It felt good to do something normal.

But as night fell, I wasn’t sure if I should get in bed with Lucas again.

Not after what happened.

Or almost happened.

I sat on the couch with my book clenched in my hand, my face burning.

God.

He’d had his mouth on me — in places I didn’t even know could feel like that.

I was… I was so out of it. I gave in so easily. I let him touch me wherever he wanted.

And I touched him back.

The embarrassment made my stomach twist.

Lucas was right. That wasn’t me.

I think I do like Lucas — maybe more than I want to admit.

It’s crazy how safe I feel around him, after everything.

He wants to protect me now, like he’s trying to atone.

But what if that’s all it is?

What if he’s just clinging to guilt — confusing it for something more?

Oh god.

And if we do end up doing it, does that mean I’m… the bottom?

He doesn’t seem like he’d want to be.

Not with how in control he is — even when he says I can be.

And those… “fucked-up fantasies” he mentioned?

Jesus.

What have I gotten myself into?

“Noah?” Lucas called from the kitchen as he dried dishes.

“Yeah?”

“Do you want to sleep alone tonight?”

I froze.

Let’s be honest — the last thing I wanted was to be alone.

“Well…” I started, just as my phone buzzed.

Dylan:

How was your hospital visit? I’m going to call you in a few seconds. Be available.

Panic surged.

“I need to use the bathroom,” I blurted. “Excuse me.”

Once inside, I shut the door and waited.

The phone rang. I answered quickly.

“Dylan?” I whispered.

“My dear Noah. It’s been too long. I need you to do something for me.”

“Dylan… I’m seeing a doctor now. I don’t know if I—”

“You’ve forgotten your place,” he cut in coldly. “Who you belong to. It’s nothing you haven’t done before. I just need you to drop off a package, like last time.”

“Last time?”

“The night you came to my parents’ house for dinner.”

“I… I don’t remember that.”

“I know. But there’s video of you breaking the law. Best keep these people happy. I’ll see you tonight.”

Click.

The line went dead.

Of course I panicked.

Where was I even supposed to meet him? I guessed the dorm room — I didn’t know where his family’s house was.

I took a deep breath and exited the bathroom.

“Lucas?” I said softly.

“Yeah?”

“I think I’ll sleep on the couch tonight.”

Lucas paused.

“If you want to sleep separately, why don’t you take the bed? I’ll take the couch.”

“Well…”

Damn it, Lucas.

How am I supposed to sneak out if you’re in the living room?

This guy… he probably wakes up if I so much as turn over in bed.

Always asking if I’m okay. If I need water. If I’m comfortable.

So worried about me.

It reminded me of the stress I caused my mom.

“Okay,” I finally said. “I won’t argue with you.”

I walked slowly into the bedroom.

Laid down.

Waited.

Waited hours — until I was sure he was asleep.

Then I got dressed. Moved through the dark living room, careful not to make a sound.

The door creaked as I opened it.

I didn’t look back.

I made it to the dorms a little after one in the morning.

I knocked.

Dylan opened the door with a cold smile.

“Noah. Look at you. Knocking on your own door. What’s gotten into you? Come in.”

I stepped inside quietly, hands deep in the pocket of my hoodie.

“—Noah.”

“Yeah—?”

CRACK.

He slapped me.

Hard.

I gasped and dropped to the floor, stunned.

My face burned. I couldn’t stop the tears.

“Hurry,” Dylan snapped, picking up a syringe. “Give me your arm. I don’t have time for this.”

I didn’t move.

He dropped to one knee beside me and grabbed my wrist.

But something came over me.

I pulled back.

His face darkened.

“W-wait—!” I stammered, just as we both heard a knock at the door.

Lucas.

“Dylan. Let me in.”

Dylan palmed his forehead.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

He opened the door.

“You’re here to save him again?” Dylan sneered. “You’ve damaged my pet enough. He barely listens anymore.”

“Let me take his place.”

“What?” Dylan blinked.

I looked up from the floor, still covering my face.

Lucas…

Dylan crossed his arms. “Do you even know what you’re asking?”

“I know enough. I know who you are. What you do. So let me. I’ll be more obedient. Just let Noah go.”

“L-Lucas… wait. You don’t have to do this,” I said, barely audible.

“Where’s the package?” Lucas asked. “Shoot me up if you need to. I won’t remember. Just let him go.”

Dylan sighed. “Fine. I’ve never had a willing participant before. Well, not at first.”

He turned to me.

“Noah. Get out. You’re dismissed.”

This fucking sociopath.

“I can’t just—”

“Noah,” Lucas cut in, stern. “Leave. Please. I’m not asking.”

I got up slowly and did what he asked.

I didn’t look back.

I was leaving Lucas there — to endure my pain.

Outside the dorm, someone was waiting for me.

Nico.

“Hey. Lucas wanted me to make sure you got back to the apartment safe.”

I sighed.

“Of course he did.”

“You don’t have to sound so excited about it.”

“Fine.”

We walked in silence for a bit. Then I asked—

“Nico… do you have—”

“No.”

“Oh.”

“And even if I did, I wouldn’t. Not for you. I promised Lucas.”